My Recovery Journey (part 1 of 2)

The trip was a tough one and I made a huge amount of mistakes but I was punished in the ultimate way.

Competing at a World Championships, outside of the Olympic the pinnacle of the sport, had been my dream for so many years. I had worked so hard to make it into the team in 2019 in Doha and really performed out of my skin coming 14th overall but 3 years of hard work and training I really felt this was the culmination, Oregon 2022 World Championships.

It was no easy ride, 2021 I really was at the top of my game but had been overlooked for the Olympics despite a world ranking of 18 heading into the games - this hurt big time, many have borne the brunt worse than me but when the people that you need to back you the most don't then it's hard to rebuild that trust. I'd also struggled for form early on in 2022, making mistakes in key races. But it all clicked in Geneva though (it's always Geneva), with a 49.3 clocking, setting me up for Commonwealth Games selection (which came a few days later) and for a spot at the World Champs in Oregon.

I finished second to Chalmers in British Champs but ran a really good race in pretty grim Manchester conditions and immediately proceeded to beg Darren Campbell to select me. He responded "I'll do what I can". I lived a thousand hours that week.. waiting for a phone call you know is coming but without knowing what the answer would be. In 2019 before my Doha call up I'd been warming up for a session and I was in bits, nervously pacing the track for resolution, and this time I was only a little bit better.

Darren rang. "You're in" (subject to world ranking something or other I didn't wait to listen). I delightedly told my team it was good news and proceeded to probably have a terrible session I don't remember, I was just very relieved.

The prep was rushed. I had a job and had to negotiate several weeks' of leave with no real notice which was a little stressful - I worked at DCMS so they were very excited at the prospect of a member of staff competing at the Commonwealth Games just a few weeks later and they mercifully let me away with another 2 weeks' special leave. Then after a very quick goodbye to Kate & my family I was off to the US of A that very next Monday (5 days after hearing). All a bit mad but that is the Track & Field life.

The journey definitely took its toll - I had done long journeys before but this really got to me, the jet lag in particular left me short of sleep. We had travelled overnight (UK time) and arrived at the hotel in the early evening when we'd normally be waking up. I was up at 4am in the hotel lobby chatting to the night manager and watching Nick Kyrgios moan about some line judge call in the tennis. Tired, both Jessie from my training group and I took it very easy until the 4th day, when Marina had set us some hurdles. I'd taken melatonin from the Doc as I wasn't sleeping very well but got through the first full night before that, although I felt very groggy (the coffee was weak so I had 3 cups and it didn't do much).

Our session was 2 reps of 8 hurdles times, a good marker session which I wanted to nail a week out. Jessie and I ran the rep together, the Corvallis sun was beating down hard and the hay fever had really set in, narrowing my nose to a slither. I went ok in the rep and wanted to finish strong, I pushed my last few strides into hurdle 8 after changing down and was just too close.. and next I knew I was in a heap on the floor.

Having hopped up, I felt the pain that you feel when you know it wasn't good. "Are you ok?".. Nods (lies) "Can I have a look?" Nods. The rest is a blur really.. I spent the whole day with my ankle in Ice. Dave my room mate, very patient through all of the injury equipment and drama, kept my mind off it but when he went out I cried. I don't cry a lot, but I thought of my parents (on their way out in a few days at a fair old expense I must say) friends, family who I'd let down. Funny where your head goes in these moments. But really I just wanted to make sure I ran, and would do everything I could to do it.

The medical team huddled around me at what must have been 11pm that night to do an ultrasound. It was like the friends scene where Ross has what he thinks is a third nipple, the whole world was crowded around looking at my ankle as Doc James Brown scanned. The swelling was huge but from what I could gather it wasn't a terrible outcome.. all I wanted to know was whether I could run and it wasn't a no... which was all I needed.

I've never been so focused on anything than my recovery that week. I did everything I could... EMS 4x a day for blood flow into the ankle, cream to remove the bleeding, ICE (oh so much Ice) to reduce the swelling, running in the pool to keep some sort of fitness, ibuprofen for swelling and pain and of course the tried and tested game ready (Ice machine). With the remaining time I tried my best to keep my mind off it, there was a lot of love island and plenty of music chat with physio Jon Alty, who I hung out with a lot in the medical room. He loves the Stone Roses so we got on very well.

That all made a nice contrast to the chaos in my left ankle, but there was plenty of ups and downs to come.